Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize