hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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