just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
