you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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