why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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