I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
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Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
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It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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