Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
