We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
he's gonorrhea incarnate
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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