me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
