No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
