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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
He felt like a one man threesome
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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