is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
