They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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