U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
