six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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