Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
