Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
