East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
