what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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