Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
