Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just pynch a tree in the face
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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