the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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