I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
