Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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