clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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