You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
