My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
