Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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