Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
