I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
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I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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