So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
