we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.