im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Randomize
