party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
