Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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