cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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