Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
