Operation Purity has been aborted
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
