This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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