I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
