what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I cut my penus on the lid.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
