Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
