there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize