I don't think brook has ever known best
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
