So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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