so explain again why im purple
no
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
