I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
the night ended with taco bell and tears
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I think people are normalizing furries
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize