Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
