My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize