He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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