Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
