I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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