come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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