Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
