Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
